Pme & Qme

In honor of Seddy Bear Day, and because I couldn't send birthday flowers...

Shout in the cafeteria
All eyes on me
All I knew to be
Pme
In spotlight
Brighter
Than that shining on me
Painful even
She didn't see me
I was too busy
Being on display

Then Qme
A new me
Came up to the fore
Never before
And she found me
Refreshingly
Genuine
As did I
Authenticated through art
My self expression
Helped her express
Hi my name is
Let's befriend

And then the adventures
Academic and rebellious
God in the face of thesis
Linguistic
And inappropriate
God in the midst of trauma
Holding hearts
Lifting hands
My sister girl
My hashtag
Chocolate don't play
Today is her day

Don't think I'd be me
Had God not seen
To match our residencies
Many words past and present
Future poetry
Our friendship
Strong like oak
Meek like palm
And I celebrate on
Honored by her virtual presence
Let alone her in truth

Dartmouth, Burlington, Seven Mile, Arlington, Virginia, Plainfield - I've seen states (and states) with my friend Sarah. All I can do today is celebrate her honesty, her perseverance, her spirit, her comedy, her boldness, her bravery, her heart, her taste in food, in cars, in friends... It takes a strong woman to admit to being afraid, and wrong, and unafraid, and right. I've seen her do these things - and dance with random dudes at the karaoke bar in Burlington. I've defended her, been corrected by her, ran from what she faced boldly, and held the full weight of her praise. This one is a beautiful soul, and she calls me friend. Thank you God, for blessing me with such a diamond as her.

With words, song & prayer, TiMo

‪#‎UDPPbook‬ ‪#‎booklaunchparty‬ ‪#‎workthatwork‬ ‪#‎HVP‬ ‪#‎AWordWithYouPress‬
Book Launch Press Release - http://t.co/183kOoLHe2

Celebrating Andrew

With a heart celebrating in its sorrow because of great love, I give you my Saturday Post-

The amount of stories and passing memories flow in and out of my waking mind as I look back over my concept of Andrew. SOOOO many buzzwords, faith, family, obedience, Godfather...

He served God, and did so with all that was in him. In serving God he served man, and the world was affected by him. He fell a few times, scuffed up his knees and elbows, but he always got back up and continued to run the race. He did not stop fighting the fight of faith, and when he went home, he was in the midst of doing the work of God.

Andrew lived for his family, no matter how you define that word. From a ninja loving adolescent in Wire Mountain 2, he stepped up to be a father and husband/provider for our immediate family. It was not easy for him, and it took the hand of God to help him shift from the mentality of aww man I have to... to whoa man I get to... and neither choice came without affliction and mistakes. And he is my big brother. And he did for me what all big brothers were supposed to do for their little sisters, but he did the Andrew way. 

I'll never forget the time he and I went to the Arlington Cemetery and Iwo Jima Memorial. I'll never forget singing in the LCC choir with him (and getting in trouble because we were "Bearding out"). I'll never forget when I drove out from Kingman, Arizona to Las Vegas to see him when he was with Pastor Johnson. I will never forget when he took me to Panera and over chipotle chicken panini, he apologized for having "salt sprinkled with grace" instead of "grace sprinkled with salt". Or the #1 cook apron I made for both he and Eric the same Christmas. Or the photos on the steps that we took every Thanksgiving. Or the way he told stories. Or the times he gave me verses to meditate on when I was going through trials. His made-up words that have become part of my lexicon. Cutting up at Myc's wedding, trying not to laugh when they poured the unity sand. Giving him the boutonniere at my own wedding, and his look of "what am I supposed to do with this?" His RANDOM voicemails. His not-so-random voicemails.

He was the one I called when the doctors found the lump in my breast. He was the one I called when the lumps were gone. We prayed together. We praised together. My big brother man of God. There are so many words, and I’ll never say this right. But I love my big brother, and I know that he loved me, I know he loved God, and I KNOW that God loves him. He and my Moses are up in heaven right now, praising God together – both races run beautifully.

 Number 7 by the lake at the Eternal Hills Cemetery and Mortuary in Oceanside, CA is his final address. Andrew is in our hearts, but feel free to share time and space at the point of contact. 

With words, song and prayer,
TiMo

Team Andrew

Happy Saturday - and here is your post!

My older brother
My younger brothers
And then of course
Mom
Hospital
In Costa Rica
Want to get him
Home

Take care of
Stateside business
Wish that I was
There
Miles and miles
Air, dirt, and water
Boundaries stand
I stare

In the context 
And the subtext
We gather round him
Close
Laying healing hands
And prayers
Outcome only
God knows

"Andrew has been working as a missionary in Costa Rica, and he is currently in a medically-induced coma due to an apparent brain aneurysm. If you can find it in your heart to donate any amount to help with this wonderful man's medical expenses, my family and I would be so grateful. Thank you for your support! We love you Andrew..."

Please donate here

to help pay to bring him home from Costa Rica for medical care and family love. If not, prayer is always appreciated, especially at time like this, and quite often more powerful than the doctor's prognosis.

With words, song and prayer,
TiMo

Educational?

Welcome back! Here is this Saturday's post!

2011 - Montpelier, Vermont

I am finding myself reaching out to my Goddardites... in thought, letter and verse.

I find it a good thing. One of my most harrowing rites of passage and "best platforms from which to jump beyond myself..." is singing silly memories to me.

Or maybe I just saw that student loan letter.

Hmmmm.

With words, song & prayer,

TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Dream: Tankers and Tidal Waves

Dreams and Weirdness

695 Beltway in the Rain

© Tiffany Monique 2008

Had a cool dream... but it has some weirdness in it too.

I was in "Baltimore" on the street where I grew up, but it was (in that strange way of dreams) only a couple blocks away from the bay. I was on my way from the corner store where some random guy bought me my choice of candy. I saw, in the Atlantic, a tidal wave coming, and there were many tankers and ships in the bay. I woke up before the tidal wave arrived, but I was right in front of the fleet of tankers as they were coming, full of scared people. This too was weird, because the water seemed to be right behind the tankers, despite the fact that I saw the housing being filled up with people annoyed at sharing space... I knew they were going to overrun the housing... but the wall of water was right there, and it was coming in. In my dream, this happened at high Noon with not a cloud in the sky.

Reflection of Mercy in Dowtown Baltmore

© Tiffany Monique 2011

Clouds at the Seashore

© Tiffany Monique 2012

A week or so later I had another dream of a dangerous wall of water flood coming. This time I was in the valley of "Oceanside" and the wall of water came over Mission Avenue, down the hill.

I felt the tidal wave arrive, but I don't remember seeing it, which was weird because I was driving towards the hill to warn someone I knew. My car was turned around and carried away in the murky, churning water towards a bright light in the East. This time the water was full of mud and such. I was alone in my car, and I felt that the warning I carried was heavy.

In my second dream, this happened at night.

I know these dreams are related, and I know my dreams speak volumes when they ping me like this...

I love to know... what do you think?

Forgiving Misdirects 7.5.13
© Tiffany Monique

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Onward Looking - February 2014
© Tiffany Monique

Saturday Post 3.22.14

A ChoreoPictoPoem from Salton City, CA, March 2014 © Tiffany Monique

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Onward Looking - February 2014
© Tiffany Monique

Saturday Post 1.18.14

1.4.14

We chased dragons into the sky
We gave them no quarter
In the desert
In the city
In our own minds
In politics
In social comments
In our bedrooms
In the mouths of others
And baring sword teeth and truth
We banned them from our hearts
We chased dragons into the sky
We gave them no quarter
We freed ourselves
In laughter
In touching
In forgiveness
In letting go
In hope
In joy
And baring sword teeth and truth
We banned them from our hearts
We chased dragons into the sky
We gave them no quarter

1.4.14 Galleta Meadows, Borrego Springs, CA

I am a dragon slayer. Are you?

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com



Thanks... giving 11.28.13

The following post came from the Monday Morning Memo for 11/25/13. I thought I'd share it with you for Thanksgiving.

Of course, I've Tiffanyzed the turkey out of it.

mondaymorningmemo.com/page/beaglethanksgiving2013

Here's your assignment, if you're willing:

Write down at least 5 things for which you are thankful. And you cannot list "Family," "Friends" or "Health," because frankly, these go without saying. To be thankful for broad categories like these is lazy, bordering on the unspeakably cliché. So be specific in your thanks. And don't just name the thing, explain it.

Here are five things for which I am thankful:
1.  I have a relationship with God that has been tested (by others & myself).

I know that some people don't like Christians as a rule, and for a while I was one of those people, but then I learned to forgive (including myself), and it has made loving God, others and myself (Jesus' ONLY TWO RULES) much simpler. I am not perfect. But I am on a journey and I will run that race to win.

2. I sing.

I don't know how I would've gotten through any part of my life (good, bad, ugly, pretty) had I not been able to sing, publicly or privately. I've been told my voice is beautiful and keep singing, and I've been told I'm distracting and asked to stop. But even if I do it for no one but me, I love singing. The 2nd to last time I sang in public, I got such an adrenaline rush that I cured my own sinus congestion.

3. I've lived on both sides of the continental United States. 

It has affected my understanding of people, and place as a construct. It has opened my mind to people (and strangely, made me close-minded in some ways I own - happily). It has also made me want to explore areas of the world that I've never seen, and that Tiffanyzed wanderlust has netted me some awesome covenant friends that I'm far enough away from to extravagantly love, and be extravagantly loved by in return.

4. I've learned to give my flowers now.
I have some people who were very close to me in high school, college, the band, other areas in my life, and now are no longer a "part of my world". I've also lost friends to death. I'd like to think that I've learned how to make sure that when someone is in my life, for however long, they are aware of how much I love them, and that no matter how our relationship ends (hey, it happens), they have memories of me which included expressions of love - even when it didn't "serve" me.

5. A Word with You Press via the Anti-Social Writers and Creative Misfits writing group

I graduated with my Masters in February of 2013, but I admit, I was still not that good at writing academically. My hybrid arts-based thesis project was able to give me a platform to write creatively, but after all the thesis submissions and edits and re-edits and re-submissions, I was burnt. As a self-dare, I joined the Anti-Social Writers and Creative Misfits writing group (held at the now closed Oceanside AWwYP location), and not only did I get awesome critiques about how to improve my writing, I very quickly found myself inspired to just write! AWwYP's Wingnuts contest introduced me to Peggy Dobbs only months before she left this earthly plane. Had it not been for Peggy, Thorn, Billy, Ed, Ronnie, Russ, Kyle, The Tall Poet Guy and others (you know who you are), I would have not made it through the transition of graduating from Graduate School and putting my feet back on my own artistic ground.

I consider myself most blessed. Thank you for your part in it.

With words, song & prayer,

TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Friday Poetry 10-11-13

Summer 2010, Washington, DC © Tiffany Monique

Two Weeks Notice
If overthinking were a job
I was a Chief Administrative Officer
And hating my position
I had a beautiful office
In a beautiful building
In the middle of a storm
Of my own creation
And I loved and hated
My own mind
My beautiful mind
My mental self-weapon
But
I put in my two weeks notice
I was not fired
Terminated for cause
I quit the job
So that my heart could beat
So that I could dream
So that I could love
So that I could create
And laugh and sing and dance
In the clear light of the sun

And some remindering...

 

 What an adventure!
Simply being my own self
How BLESSED I have been!

Yours Truly, Summer 1996, La Jolla, CA
© Tiffany Monique

Yours Truly, Spring 2009, Glen Burnie, MD
© Tiffany Monique

Yours Truly, Spring 2012, Santa Barbara, CA
© Tiffany Monique

Yours Truly, Winter 2012, Borrego Springs, CA
© Tiffany Monique

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany Monique

Friday Poetry 10.4.13

DC 2008 © Tiffany Monique

My Family

Beautifully awkward
Every joint supplies
Thumb, thigh, lip, hip
From the grave to the skies
Ugly drawers, pretty panties
That's my family

15 minutes of fame
Six to zero degrees
Elbows, spine, ears, hair
Lifted hands and bended knees
Ugly drawers, pretty panties
That's my family

I forgot I was loved
Lost it in a lie of fear
Wrist, chest, abs, calves
I've returned home and everyone is here
Ugly drawers, pretty panties
That's my family

My daughters are not lost
My sons are on their way
Ankle, knuckle, biceps, triceps
I loved you long before today
Ugly drawers, pretty panties
That's my family

Some by blood and some by blood
Adoption sacred and true
Palms, skull, thighs, eyes
I never let go of you
Ugly drawers, pretty panties
That's my family

Yes, I said it
No too many would
Heart, head, hand, land
What's mine is mine, and He made it good
Ugly drawers, pretty panties
That's my family

Hiking Shenandoah Mountains 2008 © Tiffany Monique

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany Monique

Poetry 9.6.13

Joints

My joints are not separated
All these parts are all me
Like a body jazz influences
Roots to a multi-facet-tree
And I am a heart
And I am a song
And I am a lover
And my ride is long
This journey was hard on my joints you see
I have been greatly wrong and profoundly right
I see things like music
And wasted time is kryptonite
Still I am a heart
Still I am a song
Still I am a lover
Still my ride is long
But then I have to ask myself
Is time in the cocoon truly wasted
For all the pushing through to flight
For all blood from grinding teeth tasted
Because I am a heart
Because I am a song
Because I am a lover
Because my ride is long
Feeling vibrant like the water
Roots that will go nowhere
Flowing gifts like a fountain
From this my heart
From this my song
From this my loving
From this my riding long
Bend and stretch me I won't break
My joints are stronger than my perception
As long as I live I'll I give you what I can
Blessed in my giving and your reception
Through this my heart
Through this my song
Through this my love
Through my journeying on

In the Desert
Dedicated to Seddy Bear & my daughters

I am happily
In the desert
In the dry season
Preparing
I get to be here, waiting for You
This little mouse, I
This lioness, I
I question
Is it better
To be a smart mouse
Or
A dumb lioness
Or
Both
One quiet, unassuming
Often overlooked
One a natural predator
Often fought for her alpha role
I am in the desert, waiting for You
Both mouse and lioness
Learning to be both
Learning to be neither
I am happily
In the desert
In the dry season
Waiting for You

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany Monique

Friday Poetry 8.30.13

Sometimes you are the paper
Sometimes you are the sand
Sometimes you're being prepared
Sometimes it's where you land

Sometimes it ain't just sometimes
And you're a little stuck
Metamorphose butterfly
Or be a moth - if you want

You're gonna grow on anyway
You're gonna go from here
Time don't stop for no one
Not even you my dear

Sometimes you're in the desert
Sometimes you're in the sea
Sometimes you are flying
Busy little bee

You can go to the South Pole
And touch it on the tip
So you can say the world revolved around you
For just a little bit

But mostly you can forgive yourself
Give up being in control
Sometimes you have to bow your head
Admit you're wrong and let go

Sometimes you are the paper
Sometimes you are the sand
Sometimes you're being prepared
Sometimes it's where you land

Borrego Springs, CA August 2013

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany Monique

Friday 8.23.13

I've been doing poetry expressing myself via poetry of late, and very happy and productive about it.

But I've also been traveling and I believe I've made yet another emergence.

However you got into the family,
you're in the family now.

That's my big "aha moment" that Oprah likes to talk about in her thirty million media outlets.

Seiling Tree
© Tiffany Monique 2013

I was in Oklahoma and Texas in the first part of August (yes, I know -- two of the hottest places to go in the month of August), but I was spending time with people who didn't care about my weird ways, strange sense of humor, or social awkwardness attacks. These people loved me for me. I realized that I loved them even more than I ever thought I would.

Blood, Marriage, Adoption, Covenant. Not everyone came into my family without blood on their hands. I can recount to you, with some unfortunate clarity, some of the daggers in my back, and trauma I've suffered at the hands of a few of the people I visited. And some individuals , I must admit, witnessed my own sinister deeds. But forgiveness is, I'm beginning to see, one of the hardest expressions of love. It's easy to be indifferent, well, easier than forgiving.

Temple from the Train
© Tiffany Monique 2013

On the other side of forgiveness is this incapacitating love. I mean, it incapacitates the need to revisit the wrongs. Don't get me wrong, they come up. At some of the weirdest times you'll find yourself with the PERFECT retort to some random phrase you heard 13, 14, 20 years ago. But when you forgive them, you find that you love YOURSELF so much you just can't relive the drama. You'll find it tastes like rotten cheese in your mouth or something.

At least, that's been my experience of late.

Closer Than it Appears
© Tiffany Monique 2013

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany Monique

Friday Poetry 8.16.13

In transit
On your mark, get set, GO
Where though
A pioneer through life's paths
A journey from here to eternity
A wanderer through the wonder of the simplest moments
I am in transit
I am not easily surprised, but life has a way of shutting me up
The more I learn, the more I see,the more I wish for simple songs and writing
The less I want to talk, the more I want to ask
What do you want to learn from your life?
What do you want to teach through your experiences?
What do you want your legacy to be?
Let's transit together and share the load
Let's converse about our wonder-wanders
And save each other time and trial
Learning to lean, learning to bow, learning to pray
As we travel from death to life
Let's enjoy the story
Show me your battle scars and I'll show you mine
From the past, when we were stupid
Yes, even five seconds ago
I am tired of my ears being tickled
We are moving from ignorance to wisdom
Through trial and text and a multitude of counsel
I want to go hard after life and excellence
So that when I am old my age will speak wisdom
I will tell my younger ones from experiences
And so I go, and I will bring stories in transit

The Decision
Some say the father failed. Failed. And he believed them as he withdrew into himself. His daughter watched. Her heart's cry was his peace, but she too suffered. Seconds to minutes to hours to days. she followed her father's tacit instruction of castle-building in the land of despair. She could not save him (as if it were her job). She hid her sadness and failure in a bonnet with two holes, thinking she would never allow hope to grace the doorway of her heart. What did it matter, as she would fail anyway (isn't that what everyone told her?). In time, she found a convenient marriage, where her husband never knew her true feelings (how could he, as she did not herself know?). And then came a child. And she had to choose her child, and the love her child brought out of her in spite of herself. This girl, now woman, with child, the linchpin of her family's shift in direction. Some would credit the baby's arrival, but I say it was the girl's choice - to love.

For the Seiling Girls
Hey you, small town girl!
Ride your bike, wear your boots!
Hey you, small town girl!
Walk to church, the library, or school!
You know who you are
And you stand strong
Rodeo princess without a horse
Bringing smiles like corn ears all day long
Hey you, small town girl!
Take your Ag class, join 4H!
Hey you, small town girl!
Drive to Woodward, it's OK!
You were all the most glittering ladies
Each and every one
From ages seven to seventy
Your cadence good and strong

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Yours Truly, Summer 2011