The Great Duality

Happy Saturday to you! Here's your Saturday Post!

I dreamt this week that I was surrounded by deep water, but my living situation was a high hill with many buildings (think Minas Tirith in the Pacific). My view was sometimes from under the water, and sometimes from a middle place looking down. Family and certain friends were there, and I was teaching. I'm not yet at an age when grandchildren run about my legs, but I feel like it is always going to come down to that balance of duality; not undecided, but with singularity of purpose.

This fountain in me seems full
Grace
Truth
Christian
Pharisee
Family
Business
Pme
Qme

This journey is me feels forked
Heaven
Hell
Acceptance
Rejection
Paul
Peter
Joy
Dejection

I seek purification within and without
Heart
Life
Maturity
Childishness
Wings
Weights
Love
Indifference

I run this race to win
Get up
Go on
Learn
Unlearn
Build up
Take down
Win
Burn

The natural tendency is to choose one side
But I have
Can't you see
Hidden
In plain sight
Complicated
Simplicity
My shadows
Prove a light

When I lived on the East Coast, I told my older brother I was vacillating between staying and moving back to CA. He told me, "once you make the decision you'll have peace". It took about a year before I moved back, but from the point of choice, both options worked toward my goal. I was so scared for so long that people would beat me down for saying out loud the things I say, as if it were about me. I've been told this week, "Do you have any idea how strong you are; and how intimidating that is?" Would it were not so.

I'm human; cuts hurt. I am a phoenix too; only in Christ. I've been given a "talent", and I am duty-bound NOT to bury it, but to make it bear fruit. I was told by a pastor in Virginia, "you have kingdoms in you..." and that is one of the things that have driven me to write poetry, stories, emails, blog posts, dreams... It makes room, like an overfull vessel being emptied (and the relief is sublime).

It is not about me, no matter how I benefit.

With words, song and prayer
TiMo V

Pme & Qme

In honor of Seddy Bear Day, and because I couldn't send birthday flowers...

Shout in the cafeteria
All eyes on me
All I knew to be
Pme
In spotlight
Brighter
Than that shining on me
Painful even
She didn't see me
I was too busy
Being on display

Then Qme
A new me
Came up to the fore
Never before
And she found me
Refreshingly
Genuine
As did I
Authenticated through art
My self expression
Helped her express
Hi my name is
Let's befriend

And then the adventures
Academic and rebellious
God in the face of thesis
Linguistic
And inappropriate
God in the midst of trauma
Holding hearts
Lifting hands
My sister girl
My hashtag
Chocolate don't play
Today is her day

Don't think I'd be me
Had God not seen
To match our residencies
Many words past and present
Future poetry
Our friendship
Strong like oak
Meek like palm
And I celebrate on
Honored by her virtual presence
Let alone her in truth

Dartmouth, Burlington, Seven Mile, Arlington, Virginia, Plainfield - I've seen states (and states) with my friend Sarah. All I can do today is celebrate her honesty, her perseverance, her spirit, her comedy, her boldness, her bravery, her heart, her taste in food, in cars, in friends... It takes a strong woman to admit to being afraid, and wrong, and unafraid, and right. I've seen her do these things - and dance with random dudes at the karaoke bar in Burlington. I've defended her, been corrected by her, ran from what she faced boldly, and held the full weight of her praise. This one is a beautiful soul, and she calls me friend. Thank you God, for blessing me with such a diamond as her.

With words, song & prayer, TiMo

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Book Launch Press Release - http://t.co/183kOoLHe2

May the 4ce...

Images may be subject to copyright

Today I would've sent Andrew​ a message something to the effect of, "May the Shwartz be with you!" He would've replied with something in kind from Spaceballs, or Star Wars, or just said, "wow". And then he would sing a riff from the closing credits of The Jeffersons, re-purposed in the 7280 Beard clan to be a musical mini-interlude in our conversation.

He had a Millennium Falcon toy, and figurines when we were little. He'd let me play with them rarely. If he was within arm's distance and could snatch them out of my hand if I wasn't "playing with them right". I barely remember. Mom says his collection was pretty extensive.

Copyright © 2015 Cool Stuff

I have an image in my head of his Han Solo figure in my hand. Maybe it was a storm trooper, or an Ewok. I guess my brain inserted Han Solo because of the scene where Solo is frozen. I feel like that is how Andrew is for me right now... at least our conversations. There are some friends who have heard recordings of his oooooh-so-random voicemails. My personal favorite was when he was going through his Cool Hand Luke phase, and he was always quoting, "what we have here is... failure to communicate". I think he even had a recording of it played back on my voicemail a couple times. That, or his impersonation was spot on.

I changed his ringtone in my phone the other day to The Godfather theme. It is one of, if not his favorite, movie trilogy. If it was on television, the only thing that would stop him from watching every moment was sports or work, and sports (sports was practically work for him, as he is CEO of Highlight Video Productions, a sports videography service). He would always speak of how everything the man did was for his family. Right or wrong, productive or detrimental, appreciated or not, everything he did was for the family.

Andrew to a T.

And so I write and share about my big brother. Don Drew. He didn't want anyone to know how much he and I nerded out about Star Trek and Star Wars (ask him about his love of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition).

I may be geeking out a little here, but it's May 4th. And that is what you do on May 4th.

#AndrewwillRISE

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Onward Looking - February 2014

Team Andrew

Happy Saturday - and here is your post!

My older brother
My younger brothers
And then of course
Mom
Hospital
In Costa Rica
Want to get him
Home

Take care of
Stateside business
Wish that I was
There
Miles and miles
Air, dirt, and water
Boundaries stand
I stare

In the context 
And the subtext
We gather round him
Close
Laying healing hands
And prayers
Outcome only
God knows

"Andrew has been working as a missionary in Costa Rica, and he is currently in a medically-induced coma due to an apparent brain aneurysm. If you can find it in your heart to donate any amount to help with this wonderful man's medical expenses, my family and I would be so grateful. Thank you for your support! We love you Andrew..."

Please donate here

to help pay to bring him home from Costa Rica for medical care and family love. If not, prayer is always appreciated, especially at time like this, and quite often more powerful than the doctor's prognosis.

With words, song and prayer,
TiMo

Prosed Trio

Hey Hey! Here's a Saturday post!

4/27/09

   This is my dowry. I am a wife, and my words are my proof of the paid bride-price. I write love because I am a lover. I have tried being not me, and it poisons. My words offer healing from my precious, God-beloved heart. He makes love to me through a sentence, a cadence, a sounded sound.
   Behold your handmaid, Lord. You show Yourself off in Your wonderful handiwork, and I praise You for the me You made.
   Ans here it is that I find I'm a kept woman. A beloved. A wife. A princess. A queen. God's temple and His handmaid. I will NEVER stop saying so.

Immersion

God can take a chord progression and baptize me in sound.

Imagine how it could be, a video of love and sound.

Candlelight in a dark room.

Not coupled, but dancing.

Not joined but connected.

And the camera moves around in a slow circle, never really below the shoulder. 

Together and separate. 

In the dark, but lit. 

And then the fingertips rise and touch.

The crescendo is simply a gentle kiss of the hand to the hand.

Teresa Mother

To a past mothering
Teresa and friends were there
I was there too
It was 1996
 Still engaged with
My sense of entitlement
And breaking out
Of my broken shell
We sang together
And ate together
And threw stuffed animals
In movie theaters together
She fed me more times than I could count
Denny's makes me
Think of her
I couldn't see
Her mothering of me
For the blessing that it was
And now that I am older
And consider that
Great time in my life
I see now
Her mothering of me


With words, song & prayer, TiMo
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Onward Looking

© Tiffany Monique February 2014

Love you SD

Good day to you! Here is this week's Saturday Post:

Geode Dfly Love

December 2013 © Tiffany Monique

San Diego, I love you.

Traffic is like a matrix of frustration and beauty. I drove on the 5 near Encinitas, and the light from the Pacific cried my name in the "go home traffic". It wasn't welcome home it was, "I'd hug you but I don't have arms." I am home. I am in my physical artistic space that makes me feel like I can reflect like a prism. Long winding roads, avocados, rolled tacos from a restaurant ending in 'ertos, and oh yes, the marine layer (it's like even the coast is a late sleeper). 5,78, 63, 79, 8, 10 are the numbers of my life sometimes. Just wanted to speak my love of SD. I love the whole of USA, but just wanted to give it up to SoCal for a second.

I got time. It's 5:00 o'clock on a weekday and I'm driving Northbound ( at least it was when I considered this post).

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
www.timobe.com
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Onward Looking

© Tiffany Monique February 2014

In Letters

Good day to you! Here is this week's Saturday Post:

My most heartfelt writings always seem to be in letters.

On American Politics
 April 2014 © Tiffany Monique

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
www.timobe.com
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Onward Looking

© Tiffany Monique February 2014

Strength To Fly Away

Good day to you! Here is this week's Saturday Post:

Geode Dfly Love

December 2013 © Tiffany Monique

Strength to Fly Away

I didn't want to leave you
Little loves
I didn't want to dream of you
Apart from me
But you killed me
Tiny murders every day
You encapsulated my dreams
And tried to swallow them like pills
Digest and discard
I didn't want to leave you
Little joys
I didn't want to imagine the feeling
The absence of you under my fingers
But you hardened my heart
Until I became a geode
With a dragonfly inside
A dragonfly that was never meant to
Be fossilized
Let alone fit inside a crystal rock
Even one as beautiful as yours
I didn't want to attend the funeral of us
Little ones
I didn't want to open my arms
To release you
But I was a lie until I let you go
And now I am true to me
Unashamed of my failure of us
I didn't want to bury you
Too young to understand my departure
It is a sacrifice to rebirth
The only way for me to live
Is for us to die
And I will mourn you
Even as I fly with metal wings
Wings you gave me

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
www.timobe.com
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Onward Looking

© Tiffany Monique February 2014

Mirrors

Good day to you! Here is this week's Saturday Post:

Mirrors

I've seen some awesome things in rear view mirrors
And I've captured my share of crystalline moments
They are snapshots
That will never come again

I glorified what was behind me
Going full speed toward tomorrow
I claimed those minuscule times and places
Captured like prisoners of war

I tried to warn myself
And now I think I'm finally listening to my own advice
Looking back is awesome
Staring back is deadly

I must remember
Mirrors show beautiful reflections
Even though what is in them
Are immortalized battles and brutalities

Along with timeless joys and beauties
Mirrors are amulets
A most powerful force
Not to be taken lightly

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Onward Looking - February 2014
© Tiffany Monique

Saturday Post 3.15.14

My Friends
I am blessed with a wonderful circle of friends.
Some closer than others.
Some more artistic.
Some speak into my soul.
Some speak into my workplace.
Some speak by not speaking.
For example
Sarah reminds me artistically, intellectually, and spiritually to be myself and push my own boundaries.

Sarah: "You may forget it sometimes, and that's okay, but you are in a womb of love, care, and concern of which you cannot measure the height, width, or depth. It is also living. It moves, breathes, and flows with you. It is here for your protection, for your comfort, and to help nourish you as you grow and develop. I am humbled that I get to be a small piece of it. I am also proud. In the short eternity I have known you, I have watched you love and fight. I have watched you win and lose. I have watched you sing and dance. All of that, it was you spinning a cocoon, and making that change. You were beautiful and strong before, but when you emerge, when you see the dragonfly you have become, you are going to be so splendid you will barely recognize yourself any more. All of those things that tripped you up before, when you were living life on the ground, they ain't gonna matter no more, because baby you is gonna have wings, and you is gonna soar!"
Another example
Deborah is one of those friends I lost touch with for almost a decade, and when we got back together, we cracked up laughing like it was lunch the next day. I commissioned a painting from her, and she completed and delivered it seven years later. The story of our friendship is as magical as the creation of the painting, and I even wrote about it in The Examiner.

Read the story of "The Seven Year Painting" on Examiner

These are just TWO.
I'm so blessed by the friends I have.
They post notes on my life journey.
Some with their presence
Some with their story
I am weighed down and given wings
By their love

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Onward Looking - February 2014

Nostalgia2

Nostalgic Moments from the archives

I ain't gonna lie... I edited a TINY bit... call it, artistic license... (originally posted 7.18.11) -

I sold the bookcase I wrote about in a lost archive. It served its purpose. I am starting the mental processing that is required to leave the East Coast.

I am starting to look forward to spending time with my family, and get reacquainted with the physical location that was both my hometown and the first platform “from which to jump beyond myself”.

More than that, I am starting to look forward to the drive across country. I have never taken on such an endeavor before. Would you like to come with me? Let’s get in the car and go. We can take turns driving and be tourists in the great state of “wherever we find ourselves”.

From the road in my old Mazda 3 (2007-2013 R.I.P.)

This is not to say that I won’t make the drive without you. I've been dreaming about this drive. I am just starting the start to’s… start to pack, start to downsize, start to take stock of what will stay and what will go. I am starting to look forward to the destination, but I am also starting to look forward to the journey too.

What are you starting to...?

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com