Theme & Variations from UDPPBook

Poetry in the morning. How sweet it is.

© 2015 Tiffany Vakilian

Thinking about my Goddard peeps and the poetry that they inspired in me.

I've heard it said

A great many things about

Dynamic duos

Complimentary opposites

The dance and not the battle

Heard that last week

In and out

Red and blue

Blue and grey

Yin and yang

Yanantin and masintin

Partners in a samba

Can they dance alone?

Can I?

On the dance floor called corpus callosum

The moonlight and shadow

One orb

The storyteller and the administrative assistant

Breathing

Both directions are necessary

For life

Body

Hands feet

Left side right side

Seen unseen

Wolf wife

That’s for Clarissa

Who started this whole conversation

Without even knowing I existed

Or perhaps

It was Tannen

She said it is communication

That can destruct meaning

Goffman's impressions

Given and given off

Gilligan’s pleasure

Relationship for relationships

And all the stories in between

And around

And throughout

Can they dance alone?

Can I?

Thanks Anne

For your friend Kitty

Imaginary and real

Realized

Shange's choreo-poem

Embodiment?

The dance of communication

Or beauty

Or therapy

A mushroom, Alice

Eat it

One side makes you bigger

And the other...

Otherizing

Let's bring in Pme and Qme

Honne and Tatamae

There I am

In the conversation

Of duality

Recognizing and engaging

Via dual-expression

Write it

Then say it

No

Say it

THEN write it

One feeds the other better in this way

This way that way

Light shadow

Felt sense felt senses

Hearing with ears

Our words

Our woman-self words

Can they dance alone?

Can I?

Front self Pme

Meta-self Qme

Winding a winding road

To knowing

To gnowing

Knowing and gnowing

Oracle and Architect

Archetypes

Popular culture

Myth story

Can they dance alone?

Can I?

With words, song & prayer,

TiMo

Grafting

It's Saturday! Here's your Saturday Post!

Cut it out to cut it in
For the abundant life
Of both old and new
Two old
Become one
Anew
Renewed
With cuts, deep, and painful
The shoot can not seed
It is not of its own
It is cut out
And then
Cut in
The rootstock is the life source
The scion its sub-part
Under authority
Living off of that authority
There is no such thing
As a independent scion
Inosculation
Asexual generation
Cut out
to be cut in
To produce
Some 30, some 60, some 100-fold
It always hurts
At first
Being cut
And it hurts sometimes after
At the point of joining
But the benefit
Is worth it
Cutting out to cut it in
Cutting it

With words, song and prayer
TiMo V

8-29-15 Book Launch Press Release

In lieu of Saturday post - here is the Press Release from the AWwYP (my publisher's) Website

‪#‎UDPPbook‬ ‪#‎booklaunchparty‬ ‪#‎workthatwork‬ ‪#‎HVP‬ ‪#‎AWordWithYouPress

The pun comes with the territory...

Dear Friends,

If you are anywhere in SoCal please join us Saturday, August 29th with our sponsor Highlight Video Productions, at 2575 Foothill Drive in Vista to help us celebrate the launch of Ugly Drawers, Pretty Panties, our darling Tiffany Vakilian’s first publication with us at the Towers that shine A Word with You Press flags.

This event will be a great chance to meet the author and kindred spirits, and to network with writing, media, publishing, and other professionals. It’ll also serve as a reunion of sorts for all North County writers, in particular the Meet-Up group Anti-Social Writers and Creative Misfits, of which Tiffany and I are members. She handed me the fiddle when the Oceanside towers burned.

(but it does make a good story. But definitely not a lire!) 

We expect more people than there are inappropriate puns at the Towers, so be sure to bring a lawn chair. Come enjoy a little live music and the camaraderie of fellow writers, artists, and friends. Tiffany will give a brief reading at sunset, and be on hand to sign copies of her book.

50% of the proceeds from her book launch sales that night will be donated to the Transformative Language Arts Network, promoting the use of spoken, written, sung, or embodied words to facilitate social change. And you get a woman’s ugly drawers and pretty panties to put under your pillow or sell on eBay.

In a perfect world, I would be flying in from Moscow for the event, but I’m on extended time out for bad behavior and locked in the Tower! But I will be there virtually, as will folks all over the orb.

AND we will announce the prize winner to our Beneath the Surface contest before the day is done. I do hope to see you and promise to be on my best misbehavior!

Fifteen bucks gets you a beer, a book and a burger.

With LOVE from the land of the double-entundra,His Moi-ness,The Thorntonator-in-chief​, thornificent, as ever

Just checking in...

Here's the latest update on the time capsule-

Book is in process and progress. I'm excited about it. the work, but I have home life to think about and it makes for some interesting workarounds. It is beautifully silent in the grass green field of my mind. I've even had time to write letters that I put off for months after the wedding and home making.

I have been storing up energy and inspiration and I feel good about what's coming. The next project is the workshop, and I have at least a third of the class filled. I haven't touched the play I'd planned on, and the book gets a little time here and there, but the brunt of my creative energy is in the chapbook, and at the rate I'm going it'll be done next month. I'd like to thank A Word With You Press for their input and some key characters for their editing skills and feedback.

Just got a new project, so I best get to it, but HAppY NeW YeAr!!!

With words, song and prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Chrysalis-Transformative Language Arts Journal

A Brief Review by Tiffany Monique

Chrysalis: The Journal of Transformative Language Arts

Transformative Language Arts is using spoken, written, sung or embodied words art to facilitate social change. And now, after years of bearing fruit with the Goddard TLA Program, there is a new Transformative Language Arts journal online.

Caryn Mirriam-Goldberg founded TLA after “years of working with people to develop something that encompassed the written and spoken word, social change and personal transformation” (I interviewed her in 2010 when I first began my studies at Goddard College). The first article in Chrysalis is her story of founding, entitled To Make a Prairie.

I'm in there too, having written a review about Dani Shapiro's creative memoir, Still Writing, and I'm still glad to engage my own transformation due to my TLA graduate students in Pme, Qme dual expression and the spectrum of authenticity. I am actively developing my "art, activism, studies, and livelihood.” Studying Transformative Language Arts has encouraged me to begin some of my best creative work. Once I found my way to engage my own story, it became my Transformative Language Arts mission to help others (mainly women) see within themselves their own spark of inspiration.

It's a wonderful rite of passage for TLA, and Editor Amber Ellis is on top of keeping the flowing nature of Chrysalis in top form. This is a maiden voyage, a first run, and according to Ellis, "The articles, essays, poems and reflection pieces collected within the inaugural issue of Chrysalis mirror this period of transition, this struggle, to become something greater, something whole." In addition to my Masters in Transformative Language Arts, I have been accepted into the Transformative Language Arts certificate program. 

"The certification provides participants with a thorough orientation to TLA, some avenues for developing a TLA practice and connecting with others involved in TLA, and encouragement to be part of the TLA community, help grow that community, and further define and develop TLA in the world. The Goddard program is a much more intensive immersion into TLA" 

Work with people. Love what you do. Spread the word. Change the world. “Simply write”. For whatever your artistic talent, this is wonderfully simple advice to hear. Artistically do what is in you to do, “anywhere and anytime”. It will take years. It will take collaboration. It will take education. Now that certification is possible for TLA Practitioners, there is yet more opportunity to engage and share what is transformative within an artist, and have that artist be a more powerful force for change within a local community. And of course, I've signed up. Care to join me?

With words, song and prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

An Artistic Time Capsule - OPEN ME 1.23.15

I've been wanting to write so many things lately, but life has been playing chess with my plans.

I've had at least one idea for a play - a holiday meal with my cast of character family. Poetry coming out of my ears. I've been singing all the way to and from work, and this niggling feeling that I don't want my future children to think I gave up my creative side for the sake of a paycheck. I've signed up for my TLA Certification and I am planning on an invitation-only Dual Expression workshop for five women, once every couple months or so.

If I didn't share this with someone outside of me, I would let is sink back down and it would produce no fruit. So here's 90 seconds of me reminding myself to do these projects, share these thoughts, and invite those who are meant to join me to do so.

I invite you. I invite myself.

Check back with me in January 2015 and I'll be done with at least one of these things:
1. Mylu
2. Family Play - Title TBA
3. Workshop syllabus and invitees for Spring 2015
4. Something Musical - recorded

With words, song and prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Educational?

Welcome back! Here is this Saturday's post!

2011 - Montpelier, Vermont

I am finding myself reaching out to my Goddardites... in thought, letter and verse.

I find it a good thing. One of my most harrowing rites of passage and "best platforms from which to jump beyond myself..." is singing silly memories to me.

Or maybe I just saw that student loan letter.

Hmmmm.

With words, song & prayer,

TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Thanks... giving 11.28.13

The following post came from the Monday Morning Memo for 11/25/13. I thought I'd share it with you for Thanksgiving.

Of course, I've Tiffanyzed the turkey out of it.

mondaymorningmemo.com/page/beaglethanksgiving2013

Here's your assignment, if you're willing:

Write down at least 5 things for which you are thankful. And you cannot list "Family," "Friends" or "Health," because frankly, these go without saying. To be thankful for broad categories like these is lazy, bordering on the unspeakably cliché. So be specific in your thanks. And don't just name the thing, explain it.

Here are five things for which I am thankful:
1.  I have a relationship with God that has been tested (by others & myself).

I know that some people don't like Christians as a rule, and for a while I was one of those people, but then I learned to forgive (including myself), and it has made loving God, others and myself (Jesus' ONLY TWO RULES) much simpler. I am not perfect. But I am on a journey and I will run that race to win.

2. I sing.

I don't know how I would've gotten through any part of my life (good, bad, ugly, pretty) had I not been able to sing, publicly or privately. I've been told my voice is beautiful and keep singing, and I've been told I'm distracting and asked to stop. But even if I do it for no one but me, I love singing. The 2nd to last time I sang in public, I got such an adrenaline rush that I cured my own sinus congestion.

3. I've lived on both sides of the continental United States. 

It has affected my understanding of people, and place as a construct. It has opened my mind to people (and strangely, made me close-minded in some ways I own - happily). It has also made me want to explore areas of the world that I've never seen, and that Tiffanyzed wanderlust has netted me some awesome covenant friends that I'm far enough away from to extravagantly love, and be extravagantly loved by in return.

4. I've learned to give my flowers now.
I have some people who were very close to me in high school, college, the band, other areas in my life, and now are no longer a "part of my world". I've also lost friends to death. I'd like to think that I've learned how to make sure that when someone is in my life, for however long, they are aware of how much I love them, and that no matter how our relationship ends (hey, it happens), they have memories of me which included expressions of love - even when it didn't "serve" me.

5. A Word with You Press via the Anti-Social Writers and Creative Misfits writing group

I graduated with my Masters in February of 2013, but I admit, I was still not that good at writing academically. My hybrid arts-based thesis project was able to give me a platform to write creatively, but after all the thesis submissions and edits and re-edits and re-submissions, I was burnt. As a self-dare, I joined the Anti-Social Writers and Creative Misfits writing group (held at the now closed Oceanside AWwYP location), and not only did I get awesome critiques about how to improve my writing, I very quickly found myself inspired to just write! AWwYP's Wingnuts contest introduced me to Peggy Dobbs only months before she left this earthly plane. Had it not been for Peggy, Thorn, Billy, Ed, Ronnie, Russ, Kyle, The Tall Poet Guy and others (you know who you are), I would have not made it through the transition of graduating from Graduate School and putting my feet back on my own artistic ground.

I consider myself most blessed. Thank you for your part in it.

With words, song & prayer,

TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Friday Prose 11.22.2013

The Prompt Is

Sometimes you have to wait for someone to give you a PING to write about.

Sometimes you have to chase it down crowded streets during Christmas shopping season full of angry consumers seeking to feed on that last shiny item that helps them assign value to themselves.

Sometimes you have to sit really still because the crystalline chrysalis of PING is so fragile that inhaling too hard will kill it... kill your baby - the one you've been birthing silently within you for two whole minutes, or seven or so decades.

The PING is the prompt.

Sometimes the prompt does not wish to be found, and there you are, ready to go, with no PING, no prompt, no nothing, and two carafes worth of caffeinated energy begging to be put to use what's behind the door, and that PING, that prompt, that key is M.I.A.

Sometimes though, it's waiting for you, like a lover.

Sometimes PING is warm and inviting like a Jacuzzi with the bubbles and heat set to the come-in-and-stay-awhile setting.

Sometimes it is a lover you've avoided for far too long, and you and PING are staring at each other hungrily, knowing there is an imminent, and immediate makeup session about to take place.

Sometimes you wear the prompt like your favorite coat, and it goes everywhere with you that day, romping through your memories and current experiences, making unlikely marriages and fellowships while you move comfortably through the day.

Sometimes the prompt just is, & you can do nothing but embrace it, engage it, take it into you like a breath of air, and push it out just as subconsciously.

"Sometimes that [PING] removes a person's filter until all they have left to speak is the truth."

The prompt is the PING, and sometimes it (fill it it, why don't you?)...

With words, song & prayer,

TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Friday Poetry 9.27.13

Inspired by the phrases...

"Danger is very real, but fear is a choice." - Will Smith, After Earth
I will say it
I will give no quarter to the lie
The bind
The one that says I must say less
Give less
Be less
Because it scares you
(and by the way, if you ain't "you", then don't take ownership)
I will give it
I will open my heart to the sunshine
The freedom
The joy
Even in a moment
(and by the way, if you've been there with me, cool)
I will feel it
I will wear the full armor
Not apologizing
Not compromising
Accepting everything that I am to you, with you, for you
(All the many "you's" out there)
I will choose 
Choose life
Choose me
Choose faith in the promise
I will be the fearless one I once tried not to be because of you
(Though I thank you for the trip)
I will change
I am a shifting rhythm
In the poem of life
In the life of a poem
And I am not written by you
(Though I have been edited by "you" from time to time)

"I like to tell that story because it makes me look smart. There are other stories I don't like to tell....Pain is the teacher you never forget." RH Williams
I just realized
Sometimes freedom is the prize
Worth the lesson learned

You're just a product of some negative thinking...just a little self confidence and coordination and you're gonna be fine" -Diana Ross, The Wiz

When MJ sang out, "You caint win"
I wanted to sock him in the chin
I have never been the corporate type
Even when I worked for them in jail, I mean pinstripes
Toto bit a lion and so did I
His was a cat, mine was my pride
But I am still standing here with my fist up
Despite all the times I messed up
Pour the oil in my joints please
I'll go where my destiny points me
The one with my name on it; that's the one I want.
The pen engraved specific to my creative font
The chair that most perfectly fits
All of my cross-legged sits
The braids that warp and weft my hair
Causing ethnically weighted stares
Let me not the Wizard of Oz be
I have my own girl-child magic seed
The Wiz to the Wizard's Dorothy
Go on and slide some oil to me
I have places to be and go
I'll follow and build the yellow brick road

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany Monique

Friday Poetry 7.19.13

Note to the Fallen
You are not allowed to give up on yourself
You are simply NOT allowed
She needs you
He needs you
They need you
I need you
There is nothing wrong with hurting
Pruning is not meant to be comfortable
Learning not to live by thorn
But by rose
Living outside the walls
Of your own comfort zone
You are not allowed to give up on yourself
NOT allowed
Here at the end of this journey
Just before your own coronation
Not of your entire journey
But of this moment
There are other adventures to be had
Far beyond this one
Far far beyond
You are not allowed to give up on yourself
You are NOT allowed to give up
The world needs you
You

From 2010 With Love
Cuando me sueño, uso una lengua que es solo mio
Una sonrisa, una palabra, un cuerpo tambien
Mi corazon esta fuerte, mi boca es grande
Mi cabeza es el mar, mis manos son montañas
Un chiste de sangue y hueso
Yo soy mi sueño
Mi sueño de yo

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Yours Truly, Summer 2011

Compliments, Callings, & Michele

Before she passed in October 2011, my friend Michele told me, "at 35 you're gonna be a beast!" I post this in honor of her blessing me with her life and friendship (with an audio recording of this post at the end).

Had she read the post below, she would have nodded her head, and said "Whatchusay!" in her "and-that's-the-end-of-that-conversation" kinda way. Then we would have cracked up laughing about matriarchy and patriarchy and insecurity and strength, then debated marriage and prostitution. I miss her so. And I wonder what she'd have said to what my friend posted here:

Speaking of Michele and stereotypes... Here's a thought or two to ponder (via story)... this past Sunday I was taken to lunch by a friend from church, where I've been given the new nickname "Princess", which I found, at first, the biggest joke EVER.

Up until recently, whenever I heard the term "Princess", I knee-jerk stereotyped the idea of some scantily clad entitlement-junkie teenager acting spoiled, arrogant, self-absorbed and unkind. Now I am sure that there are moments when I embody all of these things (sometimes all at once, yeesh!), but now I am beginning to rethink this whole "princess" thing. My paradigm has to shift. It comes with age and wisdom. I called myself a goddess for years, based on the logic that I am a child of God, and so I must be some form of lower case goddess. It was to me, at its most basic premise, semantic argument, but I digress.

Why not be a princess? It would mean I am a role model (check), I have to follow certain "protocols" (check), I can't just do or say anything I want because the consequences are greater by nature of my position (working on it... grace is needed here), etc.

So... I am a princess, a ninja (with a sword), a part-time khaleesi... and these are titles I've come into within the last 30 days (if that). It is definitely something to consider. I wonder how Michele would see all this.

(c) 2013 Tiffany Monique -
"Yours Truly in Galleta Meadows feelin' all Khaleesi"

No I don't.

Michele would have loved it.  WHATCHUSAY!

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo
(Listen to the blog post here)

Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

(c) 2011 Tiffany Monique
Yours Truly, Summertime in Vermont

Friday Poetry 6.7.13

Gonna keep it griot (as in... I recorded these)

My friends are all artists
My friends are all magic
My friends are all crazy
Or maybe it's just me

My friends are all strong
My friends are all loyal
My friends are all weirdos
Or maybe it's me

My friends are all humble
My friends are all honest
My friends are all outrageous
Or maybe it's me

My friends are all mine
My friends are all growing
My friends are all with me
Lucky lucky me

Would like to go on the record... I think that poem is the "perfect world friend poem", because there are times when my friends are not all of those things... but then, maybe it's just me. Part of me wonders if I should have put a line in there like, "my friends are all gangsta..."

(c) Tiffany Monique 2013

Naaaah... I'm a lover not a fighter.

(c) 2012 Tiffany Monique

Light, shadow, stairs...

I am getting over a cold. It's a nasty thing. Still, I am not without hope and so I've been redeeming the time and looking into my back yard a lot. My back yard is a petri dish for potential.

(c) Tiffany Monique 2013

I just happened to be looking out of my window, and I noticed the light and shadows on the stairs. I am going to blame the medication for my American Beauty moment. I became a little captivated by the stairs.

(c) Tiffany Monique 2013

I felt inspired to write about them. About the lines, and the light. I had to dance with the clouds for the timing, as it is partially cloudy in SoCal this morning. The sun is currently out, but may be gone before I actually post this. But the shape and color of the stone, and the light shining down, with the growing things all about it made me think of Venice, or Georgia, or L.A. and I was just happy to sit and look at it.

You're probably right. I probably need to go back to sleep.

Hope you enjoyed this, my manic moment of non-lucid lucidity. Dreamscaping for an audience of blog. I think it's cool, personally. I may Sokka slap my head later for actually posting this, but right now... nah.

Dedicated to A Word With You Press

Last night I was having the time of my life-ish.

Without reading one word of my own; while simply being my normal outrageous self - I was said to be part of an axis of evil (in a "term of endearment" kinda way... I know, right?), and that I should have my own talk-show with my Tiffanyzed Dr. Phil flare called "Dinner at Tiffany's". I read two pages of a new author's coffee shop book that made me feel wonderfully emotive. I ate salad that made me flip out. I read Shakespeare, and gave literary responses to poetry from a beautifully-in-love Slovak woman that started the whole "Dinner at Tiffany's" commentary. I bucked up and asked to submit dual-expression to a larger audience, and wasn't rejected. I coveted a steampunk light-ray. I free-styled for a new friend to his "griot tracks", and I listened to two beautiful songs, the more beautiful one being about Frankenstein.

(c) 2000 Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust

It was a crazy four hours.

The reason I joined this group initially was to get out of my writing comfort zone.

I have admittedly grown to love this group of people (in a pretty initial, rather shallow way to be sure). We listen to or read each other's work and comment with constructive criticisms. We don't pull punches, but we aren't jerks (mostly). And when something is good, we say so, even as we offer opinions on how to tighten loose screws and oil gears that need it.

We are writers. We want to improve. Our group does all kinds of things, not the least of which includes Dime Stories submissions, A Word With You Press Writing Contests, and of course our Anti-Social Writers and Creative Misfits weekly writing club (the basic rules of which you are about to read -personal highlights in bold):

GATHER TIME: 615PM. ( The plan is to give folks time eat food and drink drinks, anti-socially chat a bit. AND THE REAL WORK STARTS PROMPTLY AT 7PM. )

-- EVERY GAME HAS RULES--SO PLAY NICE:

-We a convivial group & serious writers (many of us have been published in various forms). Please bring up to 5 pages each session of your novel, memoir, short story, screen play. And be prepared to listen closely and critique others' work, intelligently and respectfully.

-We do have fun and then clear the desks and work hard. Please come only if you are willing to both read and critique others' work.

-IT IS OK TO "JUST SHOW UP, MAGICALLY APPEAR!" But it is better to RSVP so others attending will know how many copies of their work to bring.

-READERS 'n RESPONDERS WELCOME! Those who love to write and have a story to tell will love this meetup! Come prepared to read your work (5 pages) and have the schmartest, most insightful, and useful responses to offer on your fellow writer's work. So if this sounds like you--come be our Hero! ;-)

-If you cannot make a meeting and have RSVP'd YES, please change your RSVP to NO, as there may be people on the Waiting List who can use your seat at the table!

-Please try to bring enough copies of your work for all members who have RSVP'd YES.

-You can submit as long a piece by email as you want. And those who receive it can read as much or as little as they want. But at the meeting, the number of pages each person can read is determined by the number of folks who show up, divided by available time, square by the orbit of Uranus, allowing for solar drag, of course.( We tend to average 5 typewritten double-spaced 12 pt Times New Roman pages per participant...)

Double-spaced, size twelve Times New Roman font on tap.

Image subject to copyright

I've heard some amazing stories, some beautiful poetry, and some offensive commentary. It's all in there. I wanted to take this moment to say THANK YOU to some of the people like Thorn, Russ, Ed, Kyle, Michele, Billy, Ronnie, Akesha, (the really tall poet guy who's name escapes me), etc. who reminded me that I write because...(that's another blog post). You guys inspire me to TELL THE STORY.

By definition, this post is breaking the rules. How funny would it be to read it at next week's session to hear that very thing?

I think I will. Stay tuned!


With words, song & love,
TiMo

By the way, I'm working on my Dual-Expression workshops (which started me on the path to even think about joining this group). Thorn Sully (oh captain my captain of A Word With You Press) and I are currently discussing how best to share our love of words and wordsmithing with the known world (and perhaps parts unknown...). Again I say, stay tuned.

Here's where you can read me:

www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 

www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

From January 18th 2013 - Do you get it?

An old journal post poem prose... enjoy.

There's a coldness welling up inside me. It's in the back, rather quieted, but sneaking like Gollum. Sneaking. Like smokey splinters up my spine.
I remember staring at this shadow before.
I danced as it waited, side to side...
a bobbing shadow.
I see thinly veiled cruelty at all the hope in place.
The coldness hates the hope.
The coldness is highly annoyed by hope's shiny brightness,
at her warm effervescence.
he coldness is sneaking,
trying to catch hope unawares.
The problem is that hope shines so bright that the coldness can't jump out from behind any shadows.