Dealing with 2015

Good day to you and yours! Here is a Saturday Post!

I have been dreaming poignant dreams of late. Nothing that wakes me, begging to be shared. Mainly I believe I am processing this year.

I am ready for 2015 to be done; have been since February. But I have to mark the good things that are happening, and leave room for more good things in the remaining days.

Change is good, and some change is healthy, even when it hurts - like surgery.

So many people have passed this year (in and near my circle), at times I just don't want to look around the corner. But then I remember that none of us get out of this alive, and like it or not, we have legacies we leave that only we can affect in our time here.

I have friends who blow the most exquisite smoke up my derriere. To some of them, this is a compliment. To others it is a scathing rebuke. I have done both kinds of windbagging and sycophanting. One way soothes, while the other enables. I'm getting in the habit of economizing my talking in order to cut both down. At least that's what I see in dreams - I am shifting.

Lately my dreams have left me in the feeling of school. Perhaps it is the season? I'm in a learning space. Standing back, watching, answering the odd question, working...

In my dreams and waking I'm learning to peacefully cohabitate with 2015. Maybe we will part friends. At this point, it's awkward at parties.

I'm working on changing that. I can only do my best. What about you?

With words, song & prayer
TiMo aka V

© 2015 Tiffany Vakilian

Her Him They

Hey Hey! Here's a Saturday post!

She is wrapped
in change
as if it were a tassel
of multicolor ribbon
and she
the Maypole.
Her laughter and joy
fling diamonds
around her whipping red hair.
She is rooted.
But she is change.

-Her

Still.
Be still love.
All the storms around you.
But I hold the quill that rights you.
That writes you.
Shhh.
Still my little raging one.
Your power is unchecked,
your prowess untethered,
but I am the netting that holds you.
That holds you.

-Him

Duets
Do let's
Do let us
Start all over again
Shall we
Right in the middle of things
Let's shake hands
Like we've never met
Bow and curtsy
Take hands
Not make plans
Just begin the dance
In the middle of the story
Begin again
Before the end
No apologies
For there is no past to speak of
As it drops from away
In the wind as
Autumn leaves

-They

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Onward Looking

© Tiffany Monique February 2014

Silence & Song

Five Days of Poetry - Day 5

Sometimes
I am silent
Most people don't believe it
I sit behind windows
I watch, and I write

And then
I burst forth
Loud and outrageous
I sing in my triumphs
My voice loud and high

I think and
I am
And I also must grow
I'm in no way finished
As so many know

But I try
Daily
To show, be, and give love
From on top of my crown
To underneath painted toes

This pendulum
is myself
A laugh/cry parabola
Pme and Qme
and all points in between

I advance
And cower
As I try to learn it
Proudly and humbly
As should any queen

With words, song & prayer, TiMo

I am Sorry

Five Days of Poetry - Day 4

I apologize

To the cult I left

I left

I am sorry

I learned so much

Swallowed so much

I was a good little girl

Until I vomited you out

I am so sorry

I was no martyr

I didn't save them

The ones who didn't want to leave

I didn't run rebel

Back into the building

I am sorry

I am still sad

Because so much of it was right

So much of it was beautiful

I long for the belonging of it

And I am sorry

I owe you so many apologies

For running away

To three blocks down the street

Where I had to trust God

And not the man behind the pulpit

I apologize

I AM sorry

For you

I never bowed to you

I never capitalized your calling

I would not worship you

I worship HIM

Is that my crime?

Is that why I feel guilt

I am sorry

And I still wonder

Do you point fingers

Mocking my church attendance

Or tally my taxable tithing

Or judge my outfit

Or my worship customs

Or my mistakes

The ones you hear about passively

When I share

With those still connected to you

I am sorry

That I'm still scared

Of your judgement

That you'll say

That's what you get

With your second-hand leader

I am sorry

For the taste of you

Still in my mouth

Daring me to face you

To call your name out loud

But saying in love

That it's not too late to change

To turn around

Hard as it may be

To go back to the first Love

Not the unholy trinity

Of me, myself and I

My car, my children, my blessings

My ministry

Some say it is a bus

And I jumped off

Ages ago

But I am sorry that I am NOT sorry

I left

And I am sorry 

That I am so happy to be gone

I am sorry

With words, song & prayer, TiMo

Says the River

Five Days of Poetry - Day 3

I smell like blood - fresh blood
Says the river Me
Predator, prey
A drop to drink

I smell like blood - red blood
Am I a hunter's bow
Am I a wounded animal
Perhaps I am both

I smell like blood - dead blood
Digging down deep
Singing on a blood moon
Destined prophecy

I smell like blood - red blood
I smell like blood - dead blood
My hands are weaving thread blood
Says the river
Me


With words, song & prayer, TiMo

A Different 50 Shades

Five Days of Poetry - Day 2

A different fifty shades of grey
The other day in a dark room
A woman's hands on my ribs
Telling me when to move

Shadows danced in a little box
While I rolled side to side
According to her direction
Nothing but skin to hide

She was thorough with her work
Pressing in the dark
Trying to find the spaces
Where the trial would leave no mark

I was full when I came to her
She later let me release
We spent an hour in ultrasound
Searching out disease

With words, song & prayer, TiMo

© Tiffany Monique 2013

Sing in the Night

Five Days of Poetry - Day 1 

Sing in the night
Pull it up over you like a blanket
Warm wind
Or cold
Zipper pull the stars
Release them like doves in to the sky
Like a song of winter
Or a poem of the Spring
Song on the steps under a streetlight
Sing in the solace
of solidarity
Warm
Against the cold beauty
That night may sometimes bring
Children smiling
Inside the hearts of men and women
Sitting by the wall
Dancing in stillness
Harvest
What was planted with song
Sad at one moment
Scary the next
Joyful after that
You are not alone
So sing in your entrance
To the end of thinking so

With words, song & prayer, TiMo

Onward Looking

© Tiffany Monique February 2014