Exposed Nerves

Happy Saturday to ya! Here is a Saturday Post!

Exposed Nerves

There are a lot of feelings
Around
Going around
Making their rounds
Like the tide
Like the seasons
Visitors
Not residents
Emotions
In motion
Let them come
Let them go
Appreciate them
Make room for them
Share them
Evict them
Welcome them again

"Crush them darts and keep it movin'!" - Mom

"What you are learning is preparing you for where you are going." - Pastor's wife

"We need to get our nails did!" - Kristy O.

"Chocolate don't play." - Seddy Bear

"I'll cry for you." - Cece

"Ennnnnnnnh..." - Hubs

(Tiffanyzed to protect the... innocent?)

BTW, new logo and website coming... stay tuned! And don't forget to pick up a copy of 

Ugly Drawers, Pretty Panties - makes a great Christmas gift!

With Words, Song & Prayer,
Tiffany V

Off the Grid

From the island paradise - a Saturday Post!

For Tabby
It takes work - real work
To live in peace
It takes pushing and pulling
Tugging and tagging
Learning
To be healthy
From tent to mansion
From pipe to rain
It takes work - real work
To be free

I find myself in subtler and subtler shackles
This size
This food
This mindset
To cry or laugh
And to get up
Say, "yes, it was my fault"
Say, "yes, I was wrong"
To mispell on purpose
To bad grammar knowingly
It takes work - real work
To love without limitations

How freeing it is
To judge myself
To carry that check-double-check
As I prepare for takeoff
These wings are unfettered
But weighted
Because it takes work - real work
To be responsible
To my heart
To my art
To my journey
To my legacy

I've never seen true sustainable living until I saw what I saw in Kurtistown, HI. I am humbled and inspired by the life of my spiritual sister and home-chic. We laughed like we never met in Kingman, but grew up in each other's houses. Having a deep friendship like that is a greater blessing that any high paying job or fully modernized mansion. I salute you girl... can I have some more stuffed peppers and iron sharpening?

With words, song & prayer,

TiMo

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany Monique

Brave Enough to Share

Workin' that work and sharing my Saturday Post! Enjoy!

My friend told me today that she and her husband sat together and read one of my poems. She said they cried together in the reading. I told her I just wanted to tell the truth. That's why I write.

They even made a comment about My Violin of an Armpit. I am going to read it this evening.

I was interviewed by A Word With You Press for the Author Spotlight and I'd like to share that with you today.

My book launch party is in a few hours, and I'm so busy getting ready for it, I can't even be nervous about it. But those feelings will come. And I may write about them. Sometimes it hurts to tell what I'm seeing, doing, learning, or becoming. But that is the work. And I am humbled by the people who are brave enough to share their words with me. They inspire me to do more. So thank you all (song writers, poets, rappers, friends, etc.) for giving me the strength to tell my own story.

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany Monique

The Season, and The Stupidest Vampire

Good day to you, and here's your Saturday Post!

There has been a lot going on as at least a few hundred of you know.

I just got married, moved into a new house, gained and lost a freelance client, and got a new job that will subsidize the freelance income. Oh, and I'm publishing a book in early 2015.

It has been a whirlwind of a few months, but I've still been writing small bits of poetry.

I am happy to share one with you now.

The stupidest vampire
died
of a paper cut
or perhaps
it was a splinter
point is
'twas a nick
that did the trick

With words, song and prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

An Artistic Time Capsule - OPEN ME 1.23.15

I've been wanting to write so many things lately, but life has been playing chess with my plans.

I've had at least one idea for a play - a holiday meal with my cast of character family. Poetry coming out of my ears. I've been singing all the way to and from work, and this niggling feeling that I don't want my future children to think I gave up my creative side for the sake of a paycheck. I've signed up for my TLA Certification and I am planning on an invitation-only Dual Expression workshop for five women, once every couple months or so.

If I didn't share this with someone outside of me, I would let is sink back down and it would produce no fruit. So here's 90 seconds of me reminding myself to do these projects, share these thoughts, and invite those who are meant to join me to do so.

I invite you. I invite myself.

Check back with me in January 2015 and I'll be done with at least one of these things:
1. Mylu
2. Family Play - Title TBA
3. Workshop syllabus and invitees for Spring 2015
4. Something Musical - recorded

With words, song and prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Accountability Includes Silence

Hey there and welcome back!

I've been doing some marvelous on-the-ground changes of late, to include prepping for married life and home making. There have been brief moments of inspiration, but the groove of moving furniture and washing Venetian blinds kept my hands  busy. It's a magical rhythm... dreaming, conceiving, engaging, working, realizing, resting. Lather, rinse and repeat. On so many levels. Pme and Qme are forging steel bonds with each other, and maturity is making a royal appearance in my hegemony. It is humbling and exciting. But more than that, it is peaceful. I'll be posting more soon.

© Tiffany Monique 6.24.14
"Bright Echo"

With words, song & prayer,

TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

P.S. Poetry is abounding, but also some possible publishing... stay tuned!

dry souls II

Good day to you! Here is this Saturday's post!

Daley Ranch © Tiffany Monique
January 2014

"Yes dry souls do all of those things but why to they do those things?"

Fear I think, moves the beauty from a journey
Making it desolate
a dry soul wanders in the desolate plains
of cynicism and hurt and perhaps fear of being hurt again

Hurt I think, disables the soul from proper travel
Making it root
a dry soul unable to move to the waters of life
of forgiveness, of true rest, a perhaps hope of engaging joy

I was a dry soul once, afraid and hurt
Why did I do the things I did then?
Thank God someone brought me water
told me to forgive them and then
the harder work of forgive myself
releasing in the loving, painful pushes
every blood-lined wrinkle

And for my pain and work
my soul is not dead
my soul is not dry
I take every pain and joy with all their weight
and remember my dry days
so that I never - even when living in a desert
live the death that is life as a dry soul

With words, song & prayer,

TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

© Tiffany Monique
Montpelier, VT 2011

Saturday Post 3.1.14

Annnnnnnnnd Go!
Feb 2014

Untitled
He moves so fast the air blurs and time has to chase him
That's how my mouth is
Gotta slow down
Let what I say have the momentum
Of reality
Immaturity screams by at breakneck speed
And the cleanup is too much for even FEMA
Let what I say have the insulation
Of adulthood
He moves so fast his arms become ribbons
That's how my anxiety can be
Gotta be calm
Let how I respond be grounded
Deeply rooted
Wind-driven waves of circumstance
Can overturn fossilized sequoia forests
Let how I respond be noble
Almost royal
He moves so fast
That's how I can be
The art of being still
Starts with admitting turbulence
The art of growing up
Starts with admitting childishness
He moves as a child
My soul is like a child
They both will grow
Despite themselves

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Onward Looking
© Tiffany Monique February 2014

Nostalgia2

Nostalgic Moments from the archives

I ain't gonna lie... I edited a TINY bit... call it, artistic license... (originally posted 7.18.11) -

I sold the bookcase I wrote about in a lost archive. It served its purpose. I am starting the mental processing that is required to leave the East Coast.

I am starting to look forward to spending time with my family, and get reacquainted with the physical location that was both my hometown and the first platform “from which to jump beyond myself”.

More than that, I am starting to look forward to the drive across country. I have never taken on such an endeavor before. Would you like to come with me? Let’s get in the car and go. We can take turns driving and be tourists in the great state of “wherever we find ourselves”.

From the road in my old Mazda 3 (2007-2013 R.I.P.)

This is not to say that I won’t make the drive without you. I've been dreaming about this drive. I am just starting the start to’s… start to pack, start to downsize, start to take stock of what will stay and what will go. I am starting to look forward to the destination, but I am also starting to look forward to the journey too.

What are you starting to...?

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com



2.1.14 Saturday Post

Morning Hindrances

I had a plan this morning to create a sparkly - my morning cup of coffee, resplendent in its shiny-girly-glitteriness.
But the plans fell through and there wasn't much I could do.
So many things are this way.
Like life.
So I had to rebuild from the ashes of my failed plan.
I had to go back to square zero and regroup.
So many things are this way.
Like life.
And even though what I planned and wanted didn't happen, what art I created made me feel good.
I birthed success from a derailment.
So many things are this way.
Like life.
Turn the page and be new.
Or don't.
The greatest common factor in your life is you.
So many things are this way.
Like LIFE.

Morning Goes Awry by Yours Truly

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Saturday Post 1.25.14

Good morning, I Don't Want to Write

I have writing to complete

I really do

My character has been nagging me

Saying "we don't hang out 

Like we used to"

She says, "You're avoiding me"
I have

"You've been avoiding me"
I have

"Forgetting to set time for me"
There were good reasons
Life for one

She says, "my buttbone is still on fire"

Because that is the last scene I completed
And she is still sitting there

She would very much like to 

Fight

Or pass out

Or stand up

Or something

Anything to move forward

She is insistent

Almost rude

"Write me out of here!"

She says

"Let me breathe!"

She says

"Only you can save me!"

She says

But I don't want to write

I don't

I'm busy

I'm sleepy

I'm out of my rhythm

And secretly

I don't want to let her go

I don't want to share her

I don't want her to go to school

Where I can't protect her
From the others

"Please"

She says

"I'm dying of boredom and Yna needs to go down!"

She cajoles

I laugh

I acquiesce

I sigh

Ok I say

I'll write today

But I'm not so sure about tomorrow

"Today is all there is, so good morning"

She says

"And you can reward yourself after
A paragraph
A page

Feel smug

Secretly accomplished

Only

Please write!"

She says
And I know

I will write today

Despite the fact that

I don't want to

I dedicate this to the writers who have school papers, stories, reviews, essays, poetry, or WHATEVER they need to do that involves that "thing" that calls to you in sleep, asking for interaction because they have something wonderful to give you, the writer, simply for stopping by and spending time with them. Get up, go to that door and walk through. I commend you for doing so, especially when you don't want to.

With words, song & prayer, TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Thanks... giving 11.28.13

The following post came from the Monday Morning Memo for 11/25/13. I thought I'd share it with you for Thanksgiving.

Of course, I've Tiffanyzed the turkey out of it.

mondaymorningmemo.com/page/beaglethanksgiving2013

Here's your assignment, if you're willing:

Write down at least 5 things for which you are thankful. And you cannot list "Family," "Friends" or "Health," because frankly, these go without saying. To be thankful for broad categories like these is lazy, bordering on the unspeakably cliché. So be specific in your thanks. And don't just name the thing, explain it.

Here are five things for which I am thankful:
1.  I have a relationship with God that has been tested (by others & myself).

I know that some people don't like Christians as a rule, and for a while I was one of those people, but then I learned to forgive (including myself), and it has made loving God, others and myself (Jesus' ONLY TWO RULES) much simpler. I am not perfect. But I am on a journey and I will run that race to win.

2. I sing.

I don't know how I would've gotten through any part of my life (good, bad, ugly, pretty) had I not been able to sing, publicly or privately. I've been told my voice is beautiful and keep singing, and I've been told I'm distracting and asked to stop. But even if I do it for no one but me, I love singing. The 2nd to last time I sang in public, I got such an adrenaline rush that I cured my own sinus congestion.

3. I've lived on both sides of the continental United States. 

It has affected my understanding of people, and place as a construct. It has opened my mind to people (and strangely, made me close-minded in some ways I own - happily). It has also made me want to explore areas of the world that I've never seen, and that Tiffanyzed wanderlust has netted me some awesome covenant friends that I'm far enough away from to extravagantly love, and be extravagantly loved by in return.

4. I've learned to give my flowers now.
I have some people who were very close to me in high school, college, the band, other areas in my life, and now are no longer a "part of my world". I've also lost friends to death. I'd like to think that I've learned how to make sure that when someone is in my life, for however long, they are aware of how much I love them, and that no matter how our relationship ends (hey, it happens), they have memories of me which included expressions of love - even when it didn't "serve" me.

5. A Word with You Press via the Anti-Social Writers and Creative Misfits writing group

I graduated with my Masters in February of 2013, but I admit, I was still not that good at writing academically. My hybrid arts-based thesis project was able to give me a platform to write creatively, but after all the thesis submissions and edits and re-edits and re-submissions, I was burnt. As a self-dare, I joined the Anti-Social Writers and Creative Misfits writing group (held at the now closed Oceanside AWwYP location), and not only did I get awesome critiques about how to improve my writing, I very quickly found myself inspired to just write! AWwYP's Wingnuts contest introduced me to Peggy Dobbs only months before she left this earthly plane. Had it not been for Peggy, Thorn, Billy, Ed, Ronnie, Russ, Kyle, The Tall Poet Guy and others (you know who you are), I would have not made it through the transition of graduating from Graduate School and putting my feet back on my own artistic ground.

I consider myself most blessed. Thank you for your part in it.

With words, song & prayer,

TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Friday Poetry 8.2.13

As if on the wind
As if from a kiss
I smell the perfected seedling
I sense great harvest
Yes, it is coming, that time of year

The death of a seed
Is not for mourning
The coming fruit shows us
Seeds die for the turning
Yes, it is coming, that time of year

The music of change
The joy of root taken
Through groundbreaking growth pain
For sickle and staking
Yes, it is coming, that time of year

Call it a journey
Or perhaps a process
Life through morbid shift
Such metamorphosis
Yes, it is coming, that time of year

The cycle is certain
Of death breeding life
Skulls are not the stopping point
But a stanza in rhyme
Yes, it is coming, that time of year

The turn of phrase
From Summer to Fall
To glean what was planted
Great reward from seed small
Yes, it is indeed coming, that time of year

Worlds
There are so many different worlds around
I see how I am or am not a part
Each group, each grouping
It's amazing, our microcosms
Sometimes I just like standing from the outer atmosphere
Looking in
An alien
The world of the traveler at the airport
His uniform
Her gear
The world of the small town family
Her peace
His release
The world of the... insert your own
SO many worlds
All around us
So many different worlds
Like jewels
Like joys
So many worlds around

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Yours Truly, Summer 2011

Friday Poetry 7.12.13

A Sonnet on the Move

Let me join the ones to stand up like this
Takes a healing hold and a strength to be
Pressed into the truth I now try to live
No more falsehood, bluff, technicality
Couldn't truly live as afraid and false
Most eyes seem so clear. Why can they not see?
Thrill me with the past jealousies of all
I am. No longer bound to not love me
Will not lose again that much of myself
To shine like a sun lit with bitterness
Won't assign again my own heart to hell
The cost to be free is that I forgive
If hope is may call and honor my name
Let us now load cannons. Let me take aim.

Thoughts on
Looked back at milestones
Realized late bloomer flight
Walked back into the room of my life
And saw it was quite bright

Thought it wasn't good enough
Thought it simply wouldn't do
Listened to the them's and they's
Lived life so that they'd approve

But then

Regarded the army again
Realized it was small but tight
Walked around my armory
My battlements still built in light

Changed my thinking over time
Bloomed beautiful and true
See a different future now
So many more things I want to do

11 Years in Review
To all of the friends I've made since 2002
A year ago - Completed my Masters Thesis
Two years ago - Drove across the USA 1.5 times, ha!
Three years ago - Started graduate school
Four years ago - Went on a misadventure looking for Harriet Tubman's house - never found it
Five years ago - Sang at Artscape
Six years ago - Drove in major snow for the first time
Seven years ago - Lived a song lyric - "Got my kicks on Route 66"
Eight years ago - Learned how to shoot .22's, build fire pits, and love knives
Nine years ago - Sang in Soul City Survivors up and down the California coast
Ten years ago - Decided (with good reason) my #1 restaurant for life - The Palace Grill, Santa Barbara
Eleven years ago - Wrote music for a Carillon (Played by the UCSB carillonneur for years after).
WOW, what a ride! I'm excited about the next adventures!

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo
Here's where you can read me:
www.alwaysalreadyalright.blogspot.com 
www.pmeqme.blogspot.com

Yours Truly, Summer 2011

Exploring... silence

I am not a quiet person. Even when I am quiet I am not quiet. I draw a lot of attention to myself, and believe it or not, sometimes I don't want to. Yesterday I explored a bit of peace that was quite difficult for me -- the peace that can only come with silence. I sat there with two dear friends, and we said nothing together.

Does this sound namby-pamby new agey or what?!

My ears rang, I had to fight to keep still, and meanwhile I am analyzing all the details around me; who's sitting in what proximity to me, gonna have to wash my hands after I pet the dog, don't know what I'm having for dinner, etc.

At some point though, I started to trust my friends with the lack of words. I don't know where the conversation went, but it was still there. We were all communicating with God, and not with each other, and somehow simultaneously we were communicating with one another and strengthening our own friendship. It slowed us down, this silence. I slowed down and hated it at first (because I now realize I was scared of the unknown), but now I am considering this "new" kind of silence. It is a form of patiently waiting for what needs to be said to come about.

This is happening in other areas of my life. I don't "like" it. But I can, through this distillation, see God's hand in it. The bible says, "be still, and know that I am God" (Psalms 46:10 NIV). I am starting now, at 34, to see how hard this actually is. But Alice Walker says in her beatitudes published in The Temple of My Familiar, "blessed are those who know". Not only do I know phenomenologically. I know in my gnosis. This knowledge, or gnowledge is within me and it lights me up whenever I acknowledge it. The light I am shining doesn't always need words. One of my friend's husband said that I was a torch for certain people. I laughed the day I said, "torches don't talk!" I wanted to have something to say. I always have something to say. I am a writer! Words abound! But I am glad that I am exploring the power of my silence (in a good way).