Kaleidescope

Happy 3rd Saturday of 2016! Please enjoy today's post.

The road turns as does the picture
Every choice, a nuance
Every moment, a fractal
The picture
Will never again
Be what it was before
Now is now
Always new
Staying in the past is like
Asking your wings
Dry and strong
To fold up
Hold up
While you figure out
What you're trying to be
Reflection is good sometimes
But you've got flying to do
Hills
Valleys
Mountains
Water fountains
Dancing with the air
Every beat of the heart
Of the wing
Creates a new thing
And the old will never be
Again

With words, songs, and prayers,
Tiffany V

Or You Won't & You Won't

Happy Saturday Post!

You'll do the work
And reap the lesson
Or you won't & you won't
Perhaps I'm just guessing

I'll go through the fire
And celebrate getting through
Or I won't & I won't
And my growth won't prove

You'll walk the walk
And earn the respect
Or you won't & you won't
Poignantly reflect

I'll push myself
And lose or gain "it"
Or I won't & I won't
No point in complaining

This year (for me) is about saying less, but letting my actions speak more. I don't want the #socmed accolades. I want the glory of 2016 to be stronger relationships (old and new) and personal moments that make me glow inside.

With words, song & prayer,
Tiffany V

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany V.

2015's Last Few

Looking forward by looking back, Happy Saturday Post to you!

2015 Can Go

This was the hardest year
I've overcome
In my life so far
I learned some things
About myself
I learned some things
About others
I have to own
Mine
I have defend
My own
Soul
Pruning
Training
Shining
So
Sometimes
I have to ask for help
Asking for clarification is ok too
But sometimes
things just won't get clear
Control is for certain
Times and places
my personal space
the peace of my home
the people I let affect my choices
Some things
I will never understand
Some people
Will flip the script
Mid-sentence
It's my job to live
The nobility I claim
And the learning does not stop
Not until
My last breath
Still breathing
Yep

My biggest lesson of this year - 

forgiveness and peace.

Without them, 

I am a fool and lyin' to myself.

With words, song and prayer,
Tiffany V

Hearing the Voice of the Heart

Wishing you all the Happiest of Holidays, here's a Saturday Post!

I hate that man like the very gates of death who says one thing but hides another in his heart. - The Iliad

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks... - The Bible

The holiday season is a great time to consider the rain and the symbol of cleansing that comes with it. Let's consider expelling the poison that may be within us. Let's consider that we all are fragile in the snow with no cover. Let's consider we often pretend to be Hercules, when really we are Tiny Tim without the crutch.

"...She has them believing that poor old ape with the twisted foot is a satyr. Illusions, deceptions, mirages!" - The Last Unicorn

Considering the idea of authenticity, it makes me wonder how many people don't know what is actually in their own hearts. And because they don't investigate, they act contrary to their own soul on a detrimentally regular basis.

I was that person, I worked for and with that person. I dated that person. Once I punched that person in the gut - but I was nine, and have learned telling someone the truth can be WAY more fulfilling (or devastating) that physical violence.

This morning as I was preparing this post, I received an email from someone in high school. He wasn't my favorite person. But he said he saw in me a beautiful soul. I thought that (at that time in my life) I couldn't be my own self. I had to wear the multi-socks, the cross gear-- be this thing that really couldn't explain me or be explained by me. I, like him, did stupid things in that time, but don't we all?

His regret for who he was makes me think that he, sometime in the not too recent past, saw his heart (or maybe I'm just being an artistic chick about it). Referring to the first two quotes, my point is whether your heart is hidden by your performance of self or worn on your sleeve, it will speak. Will I hear it in the midst of my spinning? Will you listen when it says something? Will we do the work?

Peter Beagle via Schmendrick the magician said, "It is a rare man who is taken for what he truly is." I use to think he said, "It is a rare man mistaken for who he truly is." I don't know whose phrase I like better, haha.

Your cross is not mine to bear. Neither is mine yours. Love, when true, can hurt like the deepest torture dungeon in hell. It can also put gold in your wings and bear you up to the stars. It takes bravery to engage and begin. So (in my best Samuel L. Jackson voice) the question remains -

"What's in your [heart]?

I'm such a goofball.

Merry Christmas,
Tiffany V

Pme and Qme in conversation

P.S. Did you read the latest review for Ugly Drawers, Pretty Panties? If not click here!

Be sure to order your copies before Christmas so your friends can get their gifts on time!

Thank Rafiki

Hey y'all! Happy Saturday! Here's a post for ya.

How this...

© November 2015 - Thanks Rafiki

turned into this...

© November 2015 - That Turkey is Smokin'

tells me that God is real, and that the Lion King Turkey Blessing works!

Seriously, I thank you all for the amazing support and love throughout the year.

2015 has been a year of reaping. 

Some things bloomed beautiful,

some things passed on,

and many things went

into a new phase.

A word of caution,

and a promise

none of us gets out of this alive

So enjoy the turkey

and run this race to win

With words, song & prayer
Tiffany V

Exposed Nerves

Happy Saturday to ya! Here is a Saturday Post!

Exposed Nerves

There are a lot of feelings
Around
Going around
Making their rounds
Like the tide
Like the seasons
Visitors
Not residents
Emotions
In motion
Let them come
Let them go
Appreciate them
Make room for them
Share them
Evict them
Welcome them again

"Crush them darts and keep it movin'!" - Mom

"What you are learning is preparing you for where you are going." - Pastor's wife

"We need to get our nails did!" - Kristy O.

"Chocolate don't play." - Seddy Bear

"I'll cry for you." - Cece

"Ennnnnnnnh..." - Hubs

(Tiffanyzed to protect the... innocent?)

BTW, new logo and website coming... stay tuned! And don't forget to pick up a copy of 

Ugly Drawers, Pretty Panties - makes a great Christmas gift!

With Words, Song & Prayer,
Tiffany V

One the Eve of our First Anniversary

Happy Saturday to you! Here's your Saturday Post!

To my other, in honor of his significance
She carries the moon in her womb
And the words in her wrist
And the skin of her mothers on her elbows and knees
She has her dream
Come true
And deferred
And he loves her
In the clouds
And on the ground
And under the ground

She carries the song in her heart
Which is still healing
She carries the sass in her hips
Which are still in pain
She considers her star shining
And fallen
And he loves her
In the sky
And in the resting mist
And in the bog

They don't understand the love
And they understand it all too well
They don't get to dance that way
Not all of them
But we love
For love is stronger
Than the burning heat of the sun
And the reflected light of the moon
And to the place of death

She carries the moon
And he walks with her
And He carries them both sometimes
With blood and gore and tears
With or without footprint
For sometimes
They fly together
And they stand still together
And they rest together

With words, song and prayer
TiMo V

Close to the Air

Happy Saturday Post!

Pushing up
Two centimeters 
Until the air
Not drowning
Is the same
As growing
From underground up
You have to do it
Or you'll die
And it is
Hard to do
But needful
Essential
Vital

Push.

A happy workday beginning -- © 2015 Tiffany V.

A Word with You Press' most current contest authors are anonymous. Try it. Just click here.

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo V

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany V.

Black Poetry Day

On both my little bro's birthday AND Black Poetry Day, here's a Saturday Post!
 
From October-13
My family is an amazing maze of triumphs and failures
Heroic acts and artistic neuroses
I love them
More and more
The more I love
The bigger the family gets
There are some
Still lost
In the wilderness
I want them to know
There is a home hearth
Waiting
In my heart
In my house
No judgments
No past
Just now
Just a big hug
And a
Let's move on
From here
To the legacy

For those of you I haven't met yet, this image is my brother.
He will fly across the country to defend OR correct me,
and after the carnage, he will take me for coffee.
And be sure, he isn't even my fiercest protector... You've been warned.

Criticism

can be

Constructive

Growth can

Often

does

hurt

Petty prides

Cut with malice

Seeking destructive details

Why?

Because

Hurt people hurt people

Proud people

Sad people

Lonely people

Controlling people

Confused people

Normal people

Human people

That's why

Let's go viral

Growing up

Getting up

Pulling up

Pushing up

Why?

Why not?

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany Monique

Choosing

On Bonnie and Dan's Wedding Day - Here's a Saturday Post!

For Boba and Darth

I choose to nerd out

Get the word out

And I am not ashamed

I will sing and cry with joy

No plots or ploys

Only love to blame

I choose my friends who love me

Who envelope me

In their gracious arms

And while we sing the Star Wars main theme

She marries the man of her dreams

Right there on the front lawn

Love you, Bonnie - Congratulations!

You found the droid you were looking for!

In transit

From Ugly Drawers, Pretty Panties

On your mark, get set, GO
Where though
A pioneer through life's paths
A journey from here to eternity
A wanderer through the wonder of the simplest moments
I am in transit
I am not easily surprised, but life has a way of shutting me up
The more I learn, the more I see,the more I wish for simple songs and writing
The less I want to talk, the more I want to ask
What do you want to learn from your life?
What do you want to teach through your experiences?
What do you want your legacy to be?
Let's transit together and share the load
Let's converse about our wonder-wanders
And save each other time and trial
Learning to lean, learning to bow, learning to pray
As we travel from death to life
Let's enjoy the story
Show me your battle scars and I'll show you mine
From the past, when we were stupid
Yes, even five seconds ago
I am tired of my ears being tickled
We are moving from ignorance to wisdom
Through trial and text and a multitude of counsel
I want to go hard after life and excellence
So that when I am old my age will speak wisdom
I will tell my younger ones from experiences
And so I go, and I will bring stories in transit

Inspired by the phrase II
From Ugly Drawers, Pretty Panties

"Danger is very real, but fear is a choice." - Will Smith, After Earth
I will say it
I will give no quarter to the lie
The bind
The one that says I must say less
Give less
Be less
Because it scares you
(and by the way, if you ain't "you", then don't take ownership)
I will give it
I will open my heart to the sunshine
The freedom
The joy
Even in a moment
(and by the way, if you've been there with me, cool)
I will feel it
I will wear the full armor
Not apologizing
Not compromising
Accepting everything that I am to you, with you, for you
(All the many "you's" out there)
I will choose
Choose life
Choose me
Choose faith in the promise
I will be the fearless one I once tried not to be because of you
(Though I thank you for the trip)
I will change
I am a shifting rhythm
In the poem of life
In the life of a poem
And I am not written by you
(Though I have been edited by "you" from time to time)

Choosing

On the off chance that you can change for the better

Choose to

On the off chance you can get the spirit and not the letter

Choose to

I sometimes have difficulty

Letting pain back in to hurt me

Forgiving is a daily duty

But I choose to

This one is not finished...

With words, song & prayer
TiMo V

Grafting

It's Saturday! Here's your Saturday Post!

Cut it out to cut it in
For the abundant life
Of both old and new
Two old
Become one
Anew
Renewed
With cuts, deep, and painful
The shoot can not seed
It is not of its own
It is cut out
And then
Cut in
The rootstock is the life source
The scion its sub-part
Under authority
Living off of that authority
There is no such thing
As a independent scion
Inosculation
Asexual generation
Cut out
to be cut in
To produce
Some 30, some 60, some 100-fold
It always hurts
At first
Being cut
And it hurts sometimes after
At the point of joining
But the benefit
Is worth it
Cutting out to cut it in
Cutting it

With words, song and prayer
TiMo V

The Great Duality

Happy Saturday to you! Here's your Saturday Post!

I dreamt this week that I was surrounded by deep water, but my living situation was a high hill with many buildings (think Minas Tirith in the Pacific). My view was sometimes from under the water, and sometimes from a middle place looking down. Family and certain friends were there, and I was teaching. I'm not yet at an age when grandchildren run about my legs, but I feel like it is always going to come down to that balance of duality; not undecided, but with singularity of purpose.

This fountain in me seems full
Grace
Truth
Christian
Pharisee
Family
Business
Pme
Qme

This journey is me feels forked
Heaven
Hell
Acceptance
Rejection
Paul
Peter
Joy
Dejection

I seek purification within and without
Heart
Life
Maturity
Childishness
Wings
Weights
Love
Indifference

I run this race to win
Get up
Go on
Learn
Unlearn
Build up
Take down
Win
Burn

The natural tendency is to choose one side
But I have
Can't you see
Hidden
In plain sight
Complicated
Simplicity
My shadows
Prove a light

When I lived on the East Coast, I told my older brother I was vacillating between staying and moving back to CA. He told me, "once you make the decision you'll have peace". It took about a year before I moved back, but from the point of choice, both options worked toward my goal. I was so scared for so long that people would beat me down for saying out loud the things I say, as if it were about me. I've been told this week, "Do you have any idea how strong you are; and how intimidating that is?" Would it were not so.

I'm human; cuts hurt. I am a phoenix too; only in Christ. I've been given a "talent", and I am duty-bound NOT to bury it, but to make it bear fruit. I was told by a pastor in Virginia, "you have kingdoms in you..." and that is one of the things that have driven me to write poetry, stories, emails, blog posts, dreams... It makes room, like an overfull vessel being emptied (and the relief is sublime).

It is not about me, no matter how I benefit.

With words, song and prayer
TiMo V

Off the Grid

From the island paradise - a Saturday Post!

For Tabby
It takes work - real work
To live in peace
It takes pushing and pulling
Tugging and tagging
Learning
To be healthy
From tent to mansion
From pipe to rain
It takes work - real work
To be free

I find myself in subtler and subtler shackles
This size
This food
This mindset
To cry or laugh
And to get up
Say, "yes, it was my fault"
Say, "yes, I was wrong"
To mispell on purpose
To bad grammar knowingly
It takes work - real work
To love without limitations

How freeing it is
To judge myself
To carry that check-double-check
As I prepare for takeoff
These wings are unfettered
But weighted
Because it takes work - real work
To be responsible
To my heart
To my art
To my journey
To my legacy

I've never seen true sustainable living until I saw what I saw in Kurtistown, HI. I am humbled and inspired by the life of my spiritual sister and home-chic. We laughed like we never met in Kingman, but grew up in each other's houses. Having a deep friendship like that is a greater blessing that any high paying job or fully modernized mansion. I salute you girl... can I have some more stuffed peppers and iron sharpening?

With words, song & prayer,

TiMo

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany Monique

Dealing with 2015

Good day to you and yours! Here is a Saturday Post!

I have been dreaming poignant dreams of late. Nothing that wakes me, begging to be shared. Mainly I believe I am processing this year.

I am ready for 2015 to be done; have been since February. But I have to mark the good things that are happening, and leave room for more good things in the remaining days.

Change is good, and some change is healthy, even when it hurts - like surgery.

So many people have passed this year (in and near my circle), at times I just don't want to look around the corner. But then I remember that none of us get out of this alive, and like it or not, we have legacies we leave that only we can affect in our time here.

I have friends who blow the most exquisite smoke up my derriere. To some of them, this is a compliment. To others it is a scathing rebuke. I have done both kinds of windbagging and sycophanting. One way soothes, while the other enables. I'm getting in the habit of economizing my talking in order to cut both down. At least that's what I see in dreams - I am shifting.

Lately my dreams have left me in the feeling of school. Perhaps it is the season? I'm in a learning space. Standing back, watching, answering the odd question, working...

In my dreams and waking I'm learning to peacefully cohabitate with 2015. Maybe we will part friends. At this point, it's awkward at parties.

I'm working on changing that. I can only do my best. What about you?

With words, song & prayer
TiMo aka V

© 2015 Tiffany Vakilian

Brave Enough to Share

Workin' that work and sharing my Saturday Post! Enjoy!

My friend told me today that she and her husband sat together and read one of my poems. She said they cried together in the reading. I told her I just wanted to tell the truth. That's why I write.

They even made a comment about My Violin of an Armpit. I am going to read it this evening.

I was interviewed by A Word With You Press for the Author Spotlight and I'd like to share that with you today.

My book launch party is in a few hours, and I'm so busy getting ready for it, I can't even be nervous about it. But those feelings will come. And I may write about them. Sometimes it hurts to tell what I'm seeing, doing, learning, or becoming. But that is the work. And I am humbled by the people who are brave enough to share their words with me. They inspire me to do more. So thank you all (song writers, poets, rappers, friends, etc.) for giving me the strength to tell my own story.

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo

Yours Truly, Summer 2011
© Tiffany Monique

At the Bottom

For your consideration - a Saturday post.

 © 2014 Tiffany Monique

She saw a heart there
At the bottom of the cup
But as she drank deeper
It changed into a triangle
Surely then
She had to chase again

He saw it blue
At the bottom of the glass
But as he looked closer
It changed to a defect
Surely then
He had to chase again

Surely then
She had to chase again
Down there
To the bottom of the cup
Surely then
He had to chase again
There is no freedom
Yet it doesn't seem as such

She saw love
At the bottom of the glass
But as she fell deeper
It changed into a jail
Surely then
She had to run again

He saw himself
At the bottom of the cup
But as he searched harder
It changed into a lie
Surely then
He had to find again

Surely then
She had to chase again
Down there
To the bottom of the cup
Surely then
He had to chase again
There is no freedom
Yet it doesn't seem as such

This piece is not quite finished. I'd like to think they eventually leave the cup alone. But they haven't told me that part of the story yet.

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo

Pme & Qme

In honor of Seddy Bear Day, and because I couldn't send birthday flowers...

Shout in the cafeteria
All eyes on me
All I knew to be
Pme
In spotlight
Brighter
Than that shining on me
Painful even
She didn't see me
I was too busy
Being on display

Then Qme
A new me
Came up to the fore
Never before
And she found me
Refreshingly
Genuine
As did I
Authenticated through art
My self expression
Helped her express
Hi my name is
Let's befriend

And then the adventures
Academic and rebellious
God in the face of thesis
Linguistic
And inappropriate
God in the midst of trauma
Holding hearts
Lifting hands
My sister girl
My hashtag
Chocolate don't play
Today is her day

Don't think I'd be me
Had God not seen
To match our residencies
Many words past and present
Future poetry
Our friendship
Strong like oak
Meek like palm
And I celebrate on
Honored by her virtual presence
Let alone her in truth

Dartmouth, Burlington, Seven Mile, Arlington, Virginia, Plainfield - I've seen states (and states) with my friend Sarah. All I can do today is celebrate her honesty, her perseverance, her spirit, her comedy, her boldness, her bravery, her heart, her taste in food, in cars, in friends... It takes a strong woman to admit to being afraid, and wrong, and unafraid, and right. I've seen her do these things - and dance with random dudes at the karaoke bar in Burlington. I've defended her, been corrected by her, ran from what she faced boldly, and held the full weight of her praise. This one is a beautiful soul, and she calls me friend. Thank you God, for blessing me with such a diamond as her.

With words, song & prayer, TiMo

‪#‎UDPPbook‬ ‪#‎booklaunchparty‬ ‪#‎workthatwork‬ ‪#‎HVP‬ ‪#‎AWordWithYouPress‬
Book Launch Press Release - http://t.co/183kOoLHe2

A Royal Daughter

Had she been my own daughter, I couldn't be more proud of the woman she has become. I wish to honor her today.

I have
A good friend V
Standing strong
In the face of sorrow
And conflict
In the same
Situation
-I did not stand so
Bravely
She humbles me

She asked previously
For advice
About her situation
And after referring up
I told her
The best advice I could
"Walk out your royalty"
She did
-In the same situation
Shaped for myself
I did not

Kudos to my friend
Of whom
I am most proud
She is a living epistle
A post-it note
For my soul
A beautiful heart
Showing love
In a
Somewhat
Or Seriously
Unloving situation
I bow.

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo

Forgiveness is an Amputation

Fanning away midsummer heat, here's your Saturday Post!

Forgiveness is an amputation

With phantom limbs

I've got some more cutting to do

I was told once and remind again

Try to be brave enough

To break your own heart

Embrace the pain and freedom

And never forget that

Pride and ego bind a wound

Habit is holding grudge

For that toxic tourniquet

One must make deep the cut

Forgiveness is an amputation

Sometimes with phantom pains

I've got some more cutting to do

But I am still running my race

The salty taste of things done in the dark cry out to be held forever, as if a tidal wave could protect a pearl. "It is a sin to lock yourself in a dark past when you hold such a light within you as your real self. Your free self."

With words, song & prayer, TiMo

Onward Looking

© Tiffany Monique February 2014

‪#‎UDPPbook‬ ‪#‎booklaunchparty‬ ‪#‎workthatwork‬ ‪#‎HVP‬ ‪#‎AWordWithYouPress‬
Book Launch Press Release - http://t.co/183kOoLHe2

Borrowed Children

I am thankful for my borrowed children
As I am thankful for this borrowed time
We no longer stay here for centuries
And none of us gets out alive

We are here
Today
And I am grateful

With words, song & prayer,
TiMo

Onward Looking

© Tiffany Monique February 2014