Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Little Mermaid and Credit

I was getting ready for work today when I got the song "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from Disney's "The Little Mermaid" stuck in my head (I get all kinds of songs stuck in my head), and as I often do, I started making strange parallels to life lessons I have learned. Think of Ariel as the consumer, and Ursula as Credit/The Economy/Salesperson.


URSULA
The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself. (You have to be like everyone else to be happy... look a certain way, drive a certain car, have a certain lifestyle...)

ARIEL
Can you do that? (Trusting an authority that should be worthy of trust- but even this I can't really say is optimal, especially when it comes to the caste-system-credit construct we use today)

URSULA
My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for. 
To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself. 
Poor souls with no one else to turn to. (Isn't this the set up we have all heard from a salesman... "I am here to help you achieve... because that is what I live to do... and it is ALL for you that I do this...)
I admit that in the past I've been a nasty (The economy has been nasty in the past, and so have creditors. Think of the fee income fiasco that just happened...) 

They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
But you'll find that nowadays I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
True? Yes.
And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And dear lady, (please don't laugh) I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic) (I often think that that is what some creditors think, or say to each other after someone tries to get to the upper echelon)

Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"
And I help them!
Yes I do (To this I must own my own failings towards peer pressure in the past. There are many times I wanted something simply for the label... it may not even have be comfortable or flattering to me. I have since changed, but I do remember...)
Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals (They wait with baited breath for you to miss a payment so that they may [as soon as legally possible] charge you, hike up the interest charge, and bind you forever to the fear of not being free. And then they send more cards to open... strange...)


Yes I've had the odd complaint (How many class action suits for fee charges and interest rate hikes for persons who paid down a card but didn't close it?)But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls

Have we got a deal?

ARIEL
If I become human, I'll never be with my father or sisters again.(This is where my goddard peeps would say that Ariel [like many of us] offers to give up her fundamental needs for the quick-fix desire)
URSULA
But you'll have your man, heh heh. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? Heh heh. (often)Oh, and there is one more thing. 
We haven't discussed the subject of payment. (also know as the disclosures/contract/fee schedule/ APR... you get the picture)
ARIEL
But I don't have- (this is not that discussion)
URSULA
I'm not asking much, just a token really, a trifle! 
What I want from you is - your voice. (at least Ursula is open about it)
ARIEL
But without my voice, how can I- (Exactly, Ariel. Exactly)
URSULA
You'll have your looks, your pretty face.
And don't underestimate the importance of body language, ha! (Sell it to have it... but is it worth all that? Ruslan from theBreax said, "she's not a party girl... she'd rather give it away because deep inside she knows it's priceless")
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yet on land it's much prefered for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear, what is idle babble for?
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who get's a man (This is where marketing comes in, telling you that you have to have "this brand", and say "politically correct" things that you don't really believe, or else you will never have anyone or be happy...) 
Come on you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead!
Make your choice! (Let's refer to this as the "hard sell")

I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much
Just your voice! (Sell it to have it... )

You poor unfortunate soul
It's sad but true
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
You've got the pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys (Someone just got their big commission, so that they can go out and become the consumer... ahhh "the circle of life.") The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul

Beluga sevruga
Come winds of the Caspian Sea
Larengix glaucitis
Et max laryngitis
La voce to me

Now, sing!

ARIEL
Aah...

Keep singing! 
(Sell it to have it... give it away to have it... become someone else to enjoy being yourself....)


Just some thoughts...

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